This is a picture of statue of a skeleton having a great time.
The Bratwurst Dilemma
Germany is regarded as a country of precision. The trains are precisely on time and time is precisely kept on intricate time pieces tucked neatly behind pressed cuffs. The country made the BMW e28 M5, and the Porsche 911, and the people follow the exact instructions of “walk-don’t walk” signs. Juice containers have a square base so they fit better in square refrigerators, and the parking spaces are no bigger than the cars that use them. One would think that a country that prides itself on precision could have devoted a bit more attention to their lunch: the bratwurst.
I enjoy the delicious sausage but honestly, it is a square peg in a round hole situation; it just doesn’t fit. If a couple of engineers from Mercedes diverted their attention away from their intricate power convertible hardtops for just a few minutes, I’m confident they could design a better fitting bread to go with the wurst.
Notice that First Bite A yielded only bread. Dimensions B and C are far too large.
Perhaps the misfit comes not from a lack of consideration but a love of the Brotchen. If there was a German nutrition pyramid with only bread, the Brotchen would be the wide base. People buy them in bulk at the bakeries and the stores almost always have signs in front that say how reasonably priced their Brotchens are. It’s the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Bad fitting but well loved bread is indeed a terrible socio-culinary problem but fear not dear friends, for I have the answer. Smaller bratwursts. That’s right, small enough so they fit within the beloved Brotchen. By creating bratwursts that are a few inches shorter (minimize Dimensions B and C), the awkward disproportionate problem would be remedied and who knows, reduced bratwurst consumption may even increase the average life expectancy. Happy eats!
-H
1 comment:
I found your dilemma quite intriguing... So at work I came up with a possible solution that will allow the Germans to keep the stable base of their beloved carbohydrate laden pyramid, but shake the awkwardness experienced as a result of the current Bratwurst size.
Solution: I noticed that there was a considerable amount of bread product (A) sitting above the brat in question. Instead of elongating the bread to fit the specs of the wiener, and in an effort to preserve the tradition of the proud German people, why not just 'fatten' up the brat? Not necessarily just shorten up the Brat as in the potential solution addressed in the posting, but instead take dimensions B and C and compile them into one fat stumpy brat. That way the people can enjoy their beloved bread, but not have to sacrifice any of the delicious meat product that comes with 'nipping the tip.' Propose this to the populist and see if you can revolutionize the way they enjoy this traditional delicacy.
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